2011 began in a much unexpected way. This year the verse “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9) had being so real to me. I literally had to face a lot of pressures from every aspects of my life, from finance, emotional, family and ministry. It started back in 2010. A day before our church’s Christmas Celebration, I received a call from my father asking me to send him to hospital because his blood pressure shot up to a dangerous level. At the hospital, I was informed that my father might get a stroke. After being at the hospital whole night, I went to our Christmas Celebration with a very burdensome feeling and a tired body. I didn’t expect much at the end of the celebration, as usual, I did my duty and ministered to others. Really God does not need us except our willingness. Though I am not ready but HE is ready. This is the one of the most powerful ministering I personally did until that point of time. I saw the Lord touch the people greatly through me. One of the guys was so touched by the Lord and he wept like a baby. The Lord also powerfully touched him until he kept on vomiting. The presence of God was so strong and so sweet there. That was the beginning of my “the great difficulty, the greater grace and glory.”
After the Christmas event, I went to hospital to see my father. I was so discouraged when I saw him. Sadness, despair, helplessness all gushed into me, yet I try to contain it to myself so that it won’t affect my mother. The right side of my father’s body was totally paralyzed and he couldn’t move at all. Not even talk or eat. A tube had to be inserted into his nostrils until the stomach for the milk to be poured in. He can only gaze as us with his sad eyes. Then the doctor told me, my dad had stroke. I tried to ask them what can be done for the next step (operation, medicine) but they told me nothing can be done as the brain cells is dead. I was so shocked but thank God I am the only one that received this piece of information. I made a decision, not to tell my mother, sister and especially my dad about it. I told them, he will recover soon because I didn’t want them to lose hope. The doctor even suggested indirectly that my father won’t be better and kept teaching us on how to take care of a paralyzed patient. Prompted by the Lord, I told the doctor, “No, I don’t want him to be on the bed all days of his life. I want to bring him out; I want to go outing with him, CAN I?” The doctor was so shocked as she did not expect this question. From that point, I decided to take doctor’s information as secondary and opinion only. I engaged myself to trust in the Lord for miracles. A great difficulty, yes, but greater is HIS grace and glory. One day, Pastor Lois came to the hospital, prayed for my father and shared Christ with my parents. Praise the Lord! Miracles started to take place. At night when I am taking care of my father, I would declare healing on him while he is asleep. Suddenly, I saw he lifted up his right hand and placed it on his stomach. Then, his right leg lifted up a bit, and he spoke a word while he was sleeping. Though the next morning my father did not look any better, but I knew the Lord had heard our prayers and everything would be fine. The whole first six months of 2011 was really stressful for me. I had to go to the hospital almost every week, sometimes even 2-3 times a week and it had taken a great toll in our finance. To cut the story short, my dad is able to walk, to eat, to talk and go anywhere with us today. Yes it is not an easy journey as we still needed to go through physiotherapy, consult doctor and taking medicines but all these will not be fruitful without the Lord and the miracles. Even the physiotherapists were in amazement of his recovery. I do not know why all these happened and why not a total recovery, but I knew the power of God is real and His grace and love is so great. But I knew all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
To be honest, I was actually very confused during that period of time. Had I ever wonder? Had I blamed God on what happened? Surely yes, I am just a normal person. I asked “God, I thought we agreed that I take care of Your assignments and You would take care of my family? What happened? What went wrong?” Yet God knew the best. During this time, I can see our family bond was even closer as we embrace this difficulty. I really thank God because I saw it was a disaster in my cousin’s family when their mother got stroke. The family argued a lot and pushed the responsibilities around. Besides our relationship, my parents started their relationship with the Lord. Praise the Lord! They accepted Christ as their personal saviour at the hospital. When my father was able to speak, in his own words he was telling my mum he do not want to worship those “god” anymore and believe in Jesus. During Wesak Day in 2011, my dad urged me to tear down the altar and throw away all those stuff. He even got angry when my mum wanted to delay a bit longer. He insisted it had to be gone. This is the best Wesak Day for me as people are worshiping their so called “god”; I have the opportunity to tear it down. My mum even started to tell our relatives to trust in God when my uncle got sick. She also thanked God and share a bit in her own language about the goodness of God to our relatives during Chinese New Year and sharing a testimony book to her friend. This is the one of the best thing which happened to my family. God always remember His promises and our prayer.
Even during this very hectic lifestyle of juggling the time to take care of family, going in and out of hospital, meeting financial ends and ministry, with the grace of God I saw a great outpouring of God at church and on my life. I personally had experienced a great touch of God. God let me experience a short while of what many called Holy laughter, twice, though a very short one. It’s really so amazing. Thank God it is a short one as its really hilarious and my stomach almost burst. Yet it filled my soul with tremendous joy. Giving an opportunity to sit under Patricia King’s teaching had greatly impacted me. I received a lot from her sharing and ministering. Besides her, we also had Rodney Howard Browne and David Newberry to minister to us at our very own stadium in Malaysia. I saw a great value in both of them. During one of the ministering time, the Lord touched me so deep in which I started to groan. I thought I was very soft, but I was wrong. After the whole thing, people who were far away told me I was groaning loudly. The first time I did so in the public and I was a bit embarrassed until I don’t know how to answer them and just smile. But I do not regret, I would rather look foolish than to miss the deep touch of God. I am hungry and thirsty for it.
During our Church Camp, I also experienced a great touch of God. As the organizer, I actually was a bit tired and have to keep my attention so everything would run smoothly. Everything except the meeting was going on accordingly. The meetings were out of all the ordinary, but yet it is the proper order of the Lord. The Lord manifested greatly. I was being filled with joy again and laughed in a way I usually don’t. I remembered the guy I ministered to, I felt a power ball on my hand. He went down on the floor and started shaking as I throw it towards him. The presence of God was so sweet and tangible.
In 2011 during many challenges, I saw a great growth in our section member’s life. I was so proud of their maturity. Especially in one particular incident where they showed it from the way they face a situation and in making a very important decision. Seeing them grow tremendously, trusting in the Lord and pouring their life to influence others to turn to God and love God is filling my heart with much assurance.
2011 was truly a year of great difficulties for me but HIS GRACE AND GLORY are even greater.
